This is one of the most intense days I have ever spent in my life. The outpouring of support from therapists, restaurants and the Lutheran church continues to support my hypothesis that – at the core- human beings are inherently good. The emotional highs and lows have had a pretty big amplitude today and seeing the emotional strain becoming manifest in friends and their kids is a reminder that no matter how much this feels like I am in a bubble, it is in fact a very REAL situation.
Today was a day of twists and turns beyond anything one could have presaged. I am saying this as a person who has studied game theory and who makes a living helping firms think through all the unanticipated consequences associated with a particular course of action. The nuance and uncertainty to this unfortunate set of circumstances could never be reduced to a half hour sound bite on the standard media outlets.
It is now 11:06PM. I am finally sitting down to a wonderful meal that my mother and father made for us. Pork Steak for me and Salmon for Theresa. It is so ironic (hope I get the definition right because Alanis Morrissette got wailed on for this) that it takes something as devastating and tragic as the death of Nancy for us all to act like the human beings we all are at the core. The good news is that we are all exposing our core and, as a result, we are having a more authentic human experience.
In a strange way, having to drop the kids off with the grandparents for hours at a time day after day seems to have brought them closer together in a way that seems to truly enjoyed on both sides (Kids and Grandparents) despite the considerable effort involved. Beyond that, I find myself, despite the lack of sleep and the considerable stress, being a lot more patient with my kids and a lot more authentic with acquaintances. I get the sense that I am not alone in these behaviors and the network effect it is having a positive impact on the relationships of everyone inovolved. Today, while driving around I surmised that this might mirror how folks who have been in war together must feel. Despite race, color or philosophy, we are all going through something devastating together and at the end of the day we are all human beings trying to muddle through. None of us is as strong as all of us, particularly if we are open and transparent about our feelings about it and we know that we will be embraced for that transparency. Anyone who has not been through this cannot imagine in their wildest dreams what it is really like.
Who knows, if this keeps up I might actually get into a the same orbit as Nancy when it comes to being a parent. As we discussed in session today, Nancy was the hub of our community and a role model for what motherhood in its purest and most authentic and loving form looks like. We are all destined to become more like she was around our kids as a result of this and for that we will all experince something more profound and impactful in all of our relationships. Thank you Nancy ; )
Now onto my main point for tonight. I derived extreme pleasure in watching Nancy Grace squirm for 34 minutes because she had …….NOTHING. The media hound who was on the phone to my wife no more than 5 minutes after she was on the local news has been stymied. The Lochmere community has come together and is heeding our plea to not feed the media blitz. THANK YOU ALL. If we keep this up for one more day they will move on to the next story and we will FINALLY be able to move through our respective synthesis processes unencumbered by the arrogance and ignorance of the shock and awe media predators.
I must admit to taking secret pleasure in just how far off base they were in their speculation today. Not that this is a good thing, but I must allow myself the chance to laugh….we learned that in our very helpful therapy sessions today.
Lets all keep a stiff upper lip and the “Ferret on two cappuccino” attention span media pimps will move on to the next flavor of the week.
To end on a positive note think about these two ideas that we all believe Nancy would approve of:
– A Run for Nancy this Saturday Morning in Lochmere to celebrate her passion for exercise and sending a message that Lochmere is and will continue to be the best place to live and build friendships in America
– After the run, everyone gathers around the lake area and writes down what they wanted to say but never got to to Nancy, ties it to a white helium balloon and we all release our well wishes into the air at the same time.
More tomorrow…got to sleep.